Monday, April 21, 2008

One Single Impression: Color




red hair on shoulders
the sun speaks copper accents
I study abroad

41 comments:

SandyCarlson said...

Good on ya, Billy! You capture sensuous moments like no other writer I know.
Writing in Faith: Poems

Raven said...

Nicely done, as always!

tumblewords said...

Yes, this is truly lovely - visually vibrant and evocative of pleasure.

Julie at Virtual Voyage said...

I can see the lips move....

Janice Thomson said...

This is really delightful William.
Well done!

Teri C said...

This certainly brought a smile to my face! Very nice.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Billy, you say so much in so few words and yet your poem speaks volumes. You are a true poet with the heart of a lover, Wonderful!

love, Melanie

spacedlaw said...

You actually manage to give an exotic lure to that place of study.
It made me think that your student was learning about the colours of life (which studying abroad is a lot about).

Julie at Virtual Voyage said...

Billy in passing - you might be interested in http://brunologreco.blogspot.com/
(life coach not poet!)

MyBellavia said...

There is color everywhere! This reminds me of the golden highlights in my daughters hair and how they match the golden flecks in her eyes.

How you have expressed color here is unique! Great!

Pam said...

Love the humorish pun in the last line. I kept chuckling long after I read the poem.

Billy said...

Sandy, thanks. I haven't done haiku in a while :)

Raven, thanks. Sorry I'm so far behind in my reading, btw.

Tumblewords, I had a lot of fun with this one.

Julie, thank you. I'll take a look at that site. Gracias!

Janice, thank you. I used to do a lot of haiku, senryu, renga, etc., but not for many years.

Teri, there is the possibility for humor here if one looks hard enough. I didn't catch it until it was already posted.

Melanie, you give me too much praise, but as usual, I'll take it :)

Nathalie, how kind of you! Thanks X 10!

Barb, I have always admired the copper accents of redheads. And there are so many gradations of color, from auburn to bright red.

pam, I think you're the only one who (may) have caught the pun. As I told someone above, I didn't realize the it when I first composed it ... but decided to have fun and let it ride when it finally struck me -:)

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh the pun of that last line, Billy!

Charles Gramlich said...

red hair shouts
in the sun
Lana uncoils it

lissa said...

sounds like a sweet moment in time, something to be capture only in poetry, nicely done

WillThink4Wine said...

Oh, no... I caught the pun, and it made me chuckle out loud! Wonderful, Billy!

Billy said...

Written, I was going to change the last line so people wouldn't think I was a sexist oinker, but I'm not politically correct, so I let the subtext stay after I noticed it -:)

Charles, red is good. Always good :)

Lissa, thanks. It was indeed like a snapshot--just a mental pic I tried to get down.

Barb, thanks. I had to laugh myself. I guess my Freudian slip is showling :)

Sarah Hina said...

Gorgeous, and sly, too. This poem suits my sunny day. :)

SandyCarlson said...

Billy,
Wasn't it Freud who also said their are no accidents....! Hope you're having a great day.

Jo said...

I like this........especially the wordplay of playing away and broads grin.

Quiet Paths said...

Wow. Well done. Wow.

Lisa said...

How do you convey so much in so few words? I got a really strong image of the Mediterranean when I read this...

Christina said...

That was well done. It's interesting how much that one line painted such a brillant picture.

Billy said...

Sarah, thanks. Glad you're having a sunny day!!!

Sandy, I think Sigmund did indeed say that. I'll plead guilty lol.

Jo, thanks. I guess it works as straightforward ku or humor :)

Quiet paths, thanks so much for stopping by!

Lisa, you're not far off. I had an image of very bright sun somewhere across the pond. The Mediterranean ceratinly works for me lol.

Christina, thanks for such a kind comment !

Lana Gramlich said...

Billy; Lovely poem!

Charles; You're too sweet, as always.

jason evans said...

the sun speaks copper

I really liked that!

TomCat said...

OK, who is she? ;-)

Lane said...

Perfect haiku with an all encompassing image.

I laughed too:-)

Carole said...

I didn't appreciate the pun straight away. The last line was unexpected.

Http://watermaid.wordress.com

paisley said...

just enough "nasty" to make me love it!!!!

Geraldine said...

I always wanted to have red hair LOL!!!! Good one Billy. :<)

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Pearl said...

intriguing. and good to read on a cold day.

Billy said...

Lana, muchas gracias! btw, give me the secret of getting past the mundane activities in life lol.

Jason, thanks. Line 2 fed right into 3, albeit in an oblique way.

TomCat, alas, they are no more.

Lane, even when I try to be serious, something goofy leaks out. Is that bad? -:)


Carole, I didn't notice it at first either.

Paisley, tanka you berry berry much :)

Geraldine, I seem to have known an inordinate number of redheads in my tenure on planet earth lol.

Pearl, glad the sun in this 'ku warmed you up. Thanks!

Julie at Virtual Voyage said...

Billy, if you haven't picked up from elsewhere, I'm in the process of moving to WordPress. Have really enjoyed being on blogger, but WP has some attractive features which make blogging easier - I like the idea of browsing and posting in categories for one. I was going to keep up a blogger blog, but it seems less feasible now, too much shifting between accounts.

Look forward to seeing you if you call in!

Links are on virtualvoyages.blogspot.com

Tina Trivett said...

Simple and beautiful...love this.

Billy said...

Julie, thanks for the heads-up! I'll follow the link at your blogger site over to WP.

Tina, thanks. Hope you're well.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I really like this! :)

Billy said...

Andrew, thanks muchly!

qualcosa di bello said...

very very clever!!! (this from one who needed a second read to 'get' it...because i am literally studying abroad next year)

Alan Summers said...

.
I love that 'the sun speaks copper accents' !

all my best,

Alan
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cargwaps said...

haha. abroad. great word choices there billy